Sitting next to Randi Strand, Ironman and Comrades Marathon guru, in Denver International headed to Idaho via Spokane! Yesterday was so huge for me...John and I bought a house together. It is a gorgeous little mountain home in Idledale, Colorado. It is about 1 mile from Lair O the Bear Open space and John and I agree that will become our "home" park. Shania, John's black lab, loves the cold mountain water in the creek and we love the trails that go straight up!

The last 3 days I have handled things fairly well I think...I am now committed to living with John in our new home. My record would indicate that living with a man isn't my strength. I am putting a lot of stock in the years I have spent trying to understand why I am who I am and what really matters in life. Since my last divorce I've lost my mother, father, changed jobs 3 times and my sister moved in 4 doors down. Through all this I have tried to be reflective and tried to be a good person. I think that is all that matters. I always wanted to be a good daughter, sister, cousin, friend, wife and on and on...I know I have failed myself and others over the years but I am hopeful that I have been more successful than not.

All this reflection comes at a time when I am exhausted in every way. My body, mind and emotions are all toasted. The ironman training simply added the special physical exhaustion to what was already an exhausted state. Having said that the training also added focus, energy and commitment to what might have otherwise been 3 months of flailing and sadness. My friends and family have helped me get and stay focus. IN fact my friend Michele suggested a couple weeks ago that if I was going to make it to IM that I would have to be selfish in some ways. I'm sure that has happened daily. Having Nicole living with me has been such a blessing! John is swamped with work so Nicole and I have had time to hang out, gab, swim and laugh! Perfect elements to crazy time! If she weren't in the house my cats would have starved and likely pooped everywhere before I noticed! Thanks for your great timing and amazing friendship! John has been steady and true. He loves me and boosts me up and makes me laugh! He is sooo funny and mellow. Really good for me especially now!

IM is just the next thing on the list. My anxiety has slipped away. My bike is already in Idaho, my bags are on the plane, my bed is made, I have spent thousands of dollars on shit I might need and I will be surrounded by friends and family for the next week. I can't whisper a single complaint! My life is outrageously blessed and the fact that I have been able to train and that I will toe the starting line on Sunday is really a miracle! I thought about quitting a couple of times and I am glad I didn't. I needed the focus and the distraction.

My coach Justin Trolle, Vanguard Triathlon, has been rock solid for me. He never once waivered about my ability to complete this race. If I had ditched he would have been supportive but he definitely pushed me to do the race...he says I have the engine for it! :) I hope he is right!

Oops! Here is our flight! Off to Idaho I go!