I need to blog about Moab and my training and my knee and my shoulder and on and on and I can’t seem to write about anything until I get down in writing how I feel about losing my biggest fan. My father died on March 23^rd very peacefully in his sleep. I know it is a huge blessing that he went in his sleep, especially after everything we went through with my mom…but somehow it doesn’t make it any easier.  The greatest blessing my mother gave us when she died was the opportunity to develop wonderful relationships with our father. 

He was always “there” for me and by that I mean he was always there to criticize, judge and question…at least that is the way I saw it as a teenager and beyond. As we both grew up life between us got better and after he had cancer we developed a pretty special bond but Elvira was still my rock. Walt knew I was born in July but beyond that he could not figure me out at all. I quit and started new jobs, moved cross country with no job, married men with great retirement programs and couldn’t manage to stay married! What was wrong with me! Add to all that my athletic pursuits like running for hours and hours with no particular destination, riding my bike for days and days because I could and then triathlons! What was wrong with me!

After mom died our relationship changed and I think we were both surprised to learn how alike we were…all the good ways at least! We had great conversations about dating and golf and travel. Our family trip to Scotland was such an amazing trip for all of us. He was so proud to introduce us to his family and his heritage and I was so happy to meet my family and see Scotland through the eyes of my father! I can’t say that he ever really understood my passion for running or riding or anything else but once he saw me come out of the water on the Gold Coast in Australia I think it is fair to say that he could at least appreciate the excitement, energy and camaraderie of triathlon! I will never forget the very first time I heard him cheer me on and call my name as I was running up to transition in Australia! Holy crap that was incredible! One of the primary reasons I decided to race in China, with 3 weeks of solid training under my belt, was because he was going to be there cheering me on and I couldn’t miss that opportunity! The run at the Beijing race was awesome because we ran by the grand stand 6 times so each time I would listen to hear his deep voice call “come on Elizabeth!” or “move it now Elizabeth!”  Those are memories that I will cherish forever! We had already begun to plan our trip to London in 2013.

This past Christmas John and I went home for a couple days and it was just us staying with Walt at the house. What a blessing that was. We just hung out, laughed, cooked, ate and drank too much! I had no idea what precious time that would be for us! Christmas day we promised we wouldn’t buy gifts for one another and of course we did…I hated giving that new shirt to Rural Services as I am sure he had not yet worn it. So sad. And you know what really sucks? Having to go through all their things was like losing Elvira all over again! Oh my that was so hard! All her draws and cubbies and photos and books…

I am really angry about some things that happened in the last 3 weeks and I am going to have to let that shit go because it only eats at me. I know I am mad at Walt for not saying good bye and at the same time I would never ever have wanted him to be sick and suffer through a dawn out illness. He did it his way to the very end. I am mad that we threw out my parents entire life…tossed into a dumpster because we don’t have the time or space or off-spring to dump it on so then they have to sort through it all someday. Yeah, my anger is misguided but it still exists. The picture of the dumpster makes me ill…guilty maybe? Likely.

All I know for sure is that my father is now with my sainted mother, we have an offer on their home and it should sell in May, and I will now have to work harder at staying in touch with my friends and family in New York. It is very weird not having a family home in Homer any more.

I can’t thank Mimi, Paul, Michael, Marie, Sister Kathleen, Dutch, Janie, Phil, Angela, Alice & Cary, Bethann and my amazing Aunts and Uncles for all their support. Death is never fun or easy and our family is great at rallying around and helping with laughter, tears, food and drink!

Good bye Walt & Elvira. I love you more than ever and will miss you every moment of every day. Love Elizabeth Jean the Queen, your youngest!

The rest of the photos below are a MUST SEE!